Remember...No More

I remember his gaze locked on mine, a little shiver, the urge, scared to move
I also remember a head start, just a tiny one, he might catch me
I remember the day he held a gun to my heart and pulled the trigger

I remember thinking bad things don't happen to good people
I also remember I did nothing wrong, but bad things happened anyway
I remember the day even Christ, who was perfect, suffered, for me and for you

I remember thinking I'll never love another, the way I loved him
I also remember that moment I knew his secret
I remember everything was just a little darker after that

I remember the women we thought would throw themselves in your grave
I also remember saying I would just say goodbye and walk away
I remember feeling like a part of me died, robbed of the last word, forgiveness

I remember the baby food, Cindy Brady, quick kisses by my locker
I also remember karaoke, taramisu, and BALD honesty
I remember letting go while I wanted to scream, "Come back!!!!"

I remember how much it hurt, the worst days of my life
I also remember not wanting to remember; holding pain makes it real
I remember the Light growing brighter, I opened my eyes, and found you
                                               4/15/12